Titanic slide

I saw this as I was driving by a kids festival. I couldn't believe it. How many people died when the Titanic sunk? A lot. Now, I'm the type who finds a lot of "now that's just wrong" things funny, but this really is wrong.

The 90's are back?

I snapped this pic on my phone today. I like the green one. I can't decide if these are really one of the first signs that the 90's are back, or if it's just that JCPenny's has always had these for the local GA men. It really could go either way. And no, I'm not a regular shopper at Penny's, it's just the best place to park.

I'm Back, Baby!

I hope to be able to post more now. I was on hiatus due to being on a long road trip. And my mother having dial-up internet. And my children being needy. And all that visiting of family.

At the pumpkin farm in Franksville, WI, I noticed there was another candidate for prez-o-dent and I think he might have some good ideas, such as being friends and equal goldfish rights. He likes riding in the park, his crayon, and babies, too. I think that sounds perfect!

Trail Mix- A Healthy Snack Option

Well, I am trying to be healthy again, so I decided to only eat healthy snacks like trail mix. A great tasting one I found was at Target by the Archer Farms brand. It is "Dark Chocolate Espresso trail mix". It's a mix of healthy things like candy coated almonds, chocolate covered almonds, chocolate covered coffee beans, chocolate chips, pecans, and hazelnuts.

It's going so well for me, that the whole family is on the "Archer Farms Trail Mix Diet". We go out walking every afternoon and eat our trail mix. We get this jolt of energy, but for some reason we coming crashing down shortly thereafter.

Look what the diet has done for us! I'm thankful for all those healthy snack options out there.

Purse Rack?

I saw this purse rack in an ad for Bed Bath and Beyond today. I thought to myself, in this order:

1) If you have that many purses, there is no way more than three are in style at the same time. Put the ugly old ones in a box, then you have no need for a purse rack.

2) Geez, this lady has a lot of small purses.

3) How F'n ugly are these purses?!

4) The chains and heavy metals on my purses would really F up this door.

5) These purses are really flat. What about the boxy ones with hard rectangle handles? What about the ones that have a little more volume to them, ya know, the ones that aren't ugly? What about my tiki hut purse? How the hell would my cylindrical tiki hut purse hang on this rack? (Don't worry, it's really in a box.)

6) If someone had this many purses, they must be a purse connoisseur. And if they are, then their purses are probably of the large variety, AKA Target Granny Ass Bag, but by Louis Vuitton, of course. This means that only 3 or 4 purses could hang at a time, if the weight of them doesn't tear down the rack anyway. Or the door.

Upon googling "purse rack", I came across some good ones. How about this one? Can you imagine going to a dinner party at someones house and seeing a bunch of purses hanging off of the front door? These are only in cream and black, though, so they match the decor. Is this considered modern art? (Yes.)

Here is one I like to call the Libra Rack. Careful- you must balance both sides with a purse or risk being corkscrewed by the rack!

The Purse Snatcher Rack. The police have been notified; they're on their way.

OK, I'm done with the purse rant. It's late and I needed some creative output before bed. Zzzzz...

Irritated

Trying to find the gumption to blog. I wrote a huge story about how Evan is doing for my other blog and lost it all when a Sarah Palin email/virus was delivered to my husbands Gmail. Sarah Palin crashed my computer. I don't know what she would want with my computer- there's no oil in it.

Genevieve is "sick"

Am I using that word in the right context? I was going to say "cool", but I know that is a word that old people use.

Other than the shirt, my niece is also wearing skinny jeans with rainbows on them. And dangly star earrings that I gave her- 'cause I'm not totally lame. I know that 80's fashion is great, the 80's are still my favorite era. I just think there should be some limitations on what is brought back.

Is that a side pony?

Thanks, Navy!

I try not to badmouth my husband's employer (publicly). I mean, most of the things to bitch about are not because it's the military, but because it's the federal government. I know this. So instead, I'd like the thank the Navy:

- Thanks, Navy! for moving us to Georgia for the summer. I especially love the giant bugs, fire ants, and bloating humidity. It's nice to be on a land-locked island in the middle of Georgia, with no ocean breezes like at all the other Navy installations. Pesky ocean breezes.

- Thanks, Navy! for moving us to Connecticut for the winter. I can't wait to bundle up two babies, warm up the car, scrape off the windshield, and head out for groceries before that Nor'easter rolls in. Guessing how much the oil bill will be for the month should be a fun game to occupy us with while stuck inside the house.

- Thanks, Navy! for moving us to the Seattle area during the rainy season. Between CT and WA, I probably won't see the sun for 6 months. But that's OK. My sunshiny personality should provide all the light I need.

- Thanks, Navy! for having a 15-24 month waiting list for a house on Navy Base Kitsap. Seeing as how many people are only stationed there for two years, it makes perfect sense to make them wait on a list. Oh, the wait list starts when you leave your previous post, not when you get orders to your base and know people need a place to live? It's a good thing that thousands of families are willing to rent a shack until you call them. That leads me to my next thank you...

- Thanks, Navy! for not giving your military families enough money (especially the Chiefs and Officers) to rent a nice place in the Puget Sound area. Seattle is the one of the fastest growing cities, so it is interesting that you think that rent is staying low across the sound. Ya know, with that view of both the Olympics and Mt. Rainier and the water, who would want to cross the pond. I mean, why should military families deserve a nice house, anyway. It's a good thing we enjoy dipping into other monies to get a better place for our children. I'm glad that you are re-evaluating the housing cost for next year and hopefully fixing this- and that is not sarcasm!

The Test Results

Thank you for being patient, I was really working up a good lather.

And the result? I'm sorry to say that I didn't achieve anything but a few "Yes, yes!"'s from my tingling scalp and a choking fit from the minty over-freshness. After rinsing the bubbles out of my hair and mouth, I did find something I wasn't expecting:

A new refreshing look! Look at that volume! Those veneers! Never mind that it changed my hair color, too. I always wanted to know what it would be like to have my mother's hair (circa 1981).

It doesn't take much for a man to have an "experience", so maybe my husband can use the toothpaste. After all, I have twins. I don't have time for all that jazz.

An experience?

I hadn't used it yet, but in my bathroom cabinet was a product called Aquafresh Extreme Clean Whitening Experience. I thought to myself, "Can you really have an experience using a toothpaste?" It must be possible, why else would Aquafresh feel the need to put the term "experience" on their product? I personally felt they had taken their marketing strategy too far, but I am not one to judge. So I tried the toothpaste and have to admit I felt a little something. (It started in my toes, made me crinkle my nose.)

It then occurred to me: What if I used this while washing my hair with my Herbal Essences 2-in-1 Shampoo/Conditioner? Would this double usage make it possible to finally achieve that rumored female "O" that is on par with that of our male counterparts?

I am willing to give it a try. Check back in a day or so to find out how it worked!

I spoke too soon

My sister told me to add the charm necklace as a prediction of what will occur in the near fashion future. This is what I saw at Old Navy. I don't need to say anything else.

Like, Totally

I have had a few requests. First, the bubble shirt is out there everywhere, so it was suggested I throw one on my doll. I don't know who looks good in these. I mean, even if you're skinny, you're hiding all that good skinniness. And if you have a post-pregnancy fat blop, then it would fit and hang right in the bubble. Wait- maybe I should get one!

Also requested: the bangs and plastic charm necklace are predictions of future return 80's fashions. And the jelly bracelets, which were here in the 80's, back on the alternative kids 5 years ago, and still here from the 80's rebirth. It looks like they are here to stay!

I had to get rid of the purse. I couldn't even stand looking at it on my doll!

Another Graduation

How many of these things are there? I've been to so many. But I am proud, so I will post a pic.



Now that John is out of Navy Supply Corps School, he has to stay here for a 5 week department head class, then he'll be somewhat free until we move to CT for sub school in November.

Honestly, I can't wait to move to Bangor, WA so I can unpack boxes. Like I'll have time, but at least there is hope. We are getting on the list for officer housing. I have no idea how this is any different than enlisted housing. All I know is there is a 100 or so officer houses and 1300 enlisted houses, so I hope this means they are slightly bigger for all my crap. I heard they are brand new houses. We'll see. It will be less stress on John while he is on the sub knowing we are safe on a secure base. Yeah, the nuclear protesters might get in my way while I'm trying to get on the base, but I have a mini-van and lead foot if you know what I mean. If we don't get into base housing, there is a nearby Norwegian settlement town that I will be happy to live in. I could eat my lefse, every day!

The 70's leather bag

So I was at Target tonight again, and I saw the big ugly leather bags I've been seeing everywhere. Now I know that big purses have been in for quite awhile now, thank you Jessica Simpson, but when the big purse evolves into a retro nasty colored leathery barf bag, it's time to stop. The purse on my paper doll below just screams, "Oh good, there is a pocket for my cigs!" The cig pocket was the must have pocket for the 1970's purse and was located next to the baby bottle pocket. John says this purse looks like an old tan lady wearing a g-string. It's like the Rorschach inkblot test. What do you see?

My Paper Doll

Hey, what's shakin'?

I laughed so hard while photoshopping the shoes and pants on me. This blog is well worth it even if no one reads it.

I thought maybe I should wait until I find more items to put on me, but then I thought that it would be exiciting to keep on adding- like a paper doll!!

You're Kidding Me!

I did again. Actually, I didn't laugh outloud this time. I was angry. I believe what I said was, "Oh, I don't think so!", as I waved my hand around the stand of neon reeboks.

I didn't want to make this blog about food and fashion mishaps, but if that is all that is in my life currently, then so be it.

On a positive note, I did get to go to a big, big mall. The Mall of Georgia- the largest one here. Which is saying something 'cause the malls here are fantastic. The shoes in GA generally suck though. I guess that's what happens when you only need a pair of flip-flops most of the year. Seriously, I've only worn flip-flops since I moved here in early April.

Tacoma Narrows Bridge

If you don't know already, I am terrified of driving over bridges. This is a relatively new fear. I used to drive over the Huey P. Long bridge in the New Orleans area, a rickety awful bridge with a railroad on top, and I had no problem. It was not until I drove over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge (from Annapolis to the Eastern shore of MD) that this fear came about. It was windy and I looked down and the waves were way, way down there crashing around. Instant dizziness. I said I would never drive over it again, yet I somehow managed to make myself do it a couple of more times. It got to the point where I started to hyperventilate. Needless to say, all other bridges, at least the ones that have a steady climb to the heavens, are now on my fear list.

So, anyway, to get anywhere by non-ferry when we move, I will have to take the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. This area is notorious for having very high winds and the original bridge collapsed in 1940. Holy shit.



I was going to blog about this this morning and before I started I watched the news. Top story was a tractor-trailer going over the side of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge! Not on the very top, but still.

I think I will be OK with the TNB, even though I've never seen it. From pictures, it looks like it is flat and not climbing to the heavens, so I have hope. I can't be stuck in small town WA!

Oh, and has anybody driven to Milwaukee lately? I hear it is terrifying to go over those new overpasses. Why would Milwaukee make people go over a scary bridge or terrifying overpasses to get into their town. I believe I will have to plan some backway to get through.

New B&J Flava

If you go to a Ben & Jerry's store, which is the only way you are going to get this flavor, you have to try the Coconut Seven Layer Bar. I'm telling you. The only negative would be if you hate coconut. Obviously. I used to make these bars for my coworkers and they were a hit. A recipe from grandma. I used to make a section without coconut and, unfortunately, those biatches at B&J's won't do that for you.

What's in it? Coconut ice cream with coconut and chocolate flakes, walnuts, graham cracker and butterscotch swirl.

I laughed out loud

What are these you ask? You probably can't tell from the picture, so let me describe them. They are stretch pants. That look like a pair of jeans. I shit you not. I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. There was a college girl near me and I should have asked her if she would really wear them. I just can't picture someone actually purchasing them. Let me know if you see them on the street!

First blog, just a rant

I hate to have this story as an opener, but I did want to use this blog as an outlet for venting about my daily frustrations.

OK, so I "try" not to eat a lot of fast food, but having to drag two babies out, it is the only way I can eat in peace. It's the only time they are asleep. Anyway, I have been seeing this sign in the Popeyes window for awhile now. The one for buffalo chicken nuggets with ranch dipping sauce. Since I only go once a year or so, I decided today was the day. How exciting! I pulled up to the speaker and asked if I could get the buffalo nuggets. I was told by a painstakingly loud voice that, "NO, WE ONLY HAVE PREMIUM NUGGETS". I told the voice that even though there was a sign for the buffalo nuggets in the window, I would take the premium nuggets with sweet and sour sauce. I pick up my order, get home, dip a nugget into my sauce and- dammit! Buffalo nuggets in sweet and sour sauce! Can life get anymore shitty today? This was my chance to get those buffalo nuggets that I love at the big people restaurants, which I don't get to go to too much right now. They don't taste right without the creamy goodness that is ranch or blue cheese. Popeyes, you bitches!

Yes, this is the shit that happens to me everyday.